*finds Teen-Speak to Rest-Of-English-Population dictionary*
1. abbrv. What are you up to?
2. message one receives before cracking one’s mobile phone in two, often caused by the ignorance levels of fellow humans
What am I up to?
Blogging. Cutting. Writing. Overdosing – not suicidal amounts, just enough to make me stop overthinking for a few hours. Homework. Researching the success rates of various suicide methods; throwing yourself under a train has a 90% death rate, but I’d rather not do that. Overdosing on legal drugs is only lethal 49.7% of the time. Freezing to death in typical English weather. Wishing I was being literal.
Wait, there’s a third definition.
3. Part of the text script ‘Meeting’. The required question is ‘Heya’. The required answer is “Nm, u?”
*flicks through dictionary*
1. abbrv. Nothing much, you (generally imposed as question)
2. Part of the text script ‘Meeting’. The required question is ‘Wuu2?’ The required answer is ‘Nm’, but teens occasionally substitute ‘Gtg now’ followed by ‘soz’.
No one actually cares what you’re up to. And that’s why it annoys me.
tl;dr Only ask a question if you give a shit about the answer.
*A wallbanger is a book that’s so bad you throw it at the wall.