[Edit: I’m working on my potty mouth, so I’ve censored myself. I’s a good girl.]
Now I’ve got that out of the way, let us proceed.
TW: self harm
Disclaimer: I do not promote or glorify any form of self-harm.
NB: When I’m really pissed off, I swear. A lot. (A/N: Edited out. You may continue.)
Justin Bieber smokes weed. So (the fudge, Victoria, fudge) what? It’s his body. Live and let smoke. It’s called free will.
Right. Okay.
“He doesn’t like cutting – so let’s cut.”
The fuck?
And I thought my logic was messed up.
If you’re a fan of Bieber (what do they call themselves? Beliebers, or some such?), why would you do something he doesn’t like? Tell me that before you start cutting.
And you don’t want to start cutting.
It’s addictive.
We’re all addicted to something that takes the pain away, be it music, porn, cutting, whatever. (No, I don’t watch porn*. Have a nice day.)
For the people that cut, though… they have reasons. Reasons other than some guy smoking weed**.
Reasons like control. Like how the amount of blood on their wrists – our wrists – is the only damn thing in their life they can control. Like how for those fleeting moments when the blade enters your skin, you can forget what’s going on around you.
Oh, it hurts. But this time, it’s a pain you can control.
When you can’t do anything about emotional pain, you turn to physical pain. Making your wounds real.
For me, and millions of other people*** out there, it helps. Even if it’s for one minute, it’s a minute of complete freedom.
And when your freedom ends, you cut again. And again. And again.
It’s a vicious cycle. Don’t start. And most of all, don’t start for Justin Bieber.
Love always,
Victoria
* As many friends ask me. “But I thought nerdy girls watched porn!” -.-
** Why doesn’t anyone cut for teens? Or dealers? Or Whitney Houston’s kid?‡
*** Boys harm too. It’s not just the girls. Trust me on that one.
‡ Please don’t.
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